I Blame Tsuna
by MajesticNinjaRen
Summary: For every messed up mafia man out there, I blame Tsuna.
1. Chapter 1

"Ten percent of Life is what it throws at you. The other ninety percent is how you react to it."

It doesn't really matter who you are, who you once were, or who people believe you will be; what matters is who you want to be and how you become that person.

A person's character, attitude, outlook all result from their reactions to their environment. Every quirk, trauma, habit, like, dislike, and interest originates from one point- be it a simple start or a deep impression.

Humans are a mix of natural born instincts and perceptions of life both learned from experience and told by another to be true.

At this point, I bet you're wondering why I am explaining all this to you, and what exactly it has to do with the story.

Well, the answer is pretty simple actually.

Tsuna, our main character, is why I'm explaining all this.

Tsuna is a person of inspiration, and it doesn't matter who he is with, he always changes them in some way. Sometimes it's for the better; others, it's for the worse.

Nevertheless, he leaves an impression on each and every one of them.

And, that why for every messed up mafia man out there, I blame Tsuna.

I can't say I hate what he's caused though.

The results aren't that bad in the long run.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter: The Varia Chronicles Begin<strong>

_Once upon a time, Xanxus was nice._

_+ When a lack of satisfaction with his life leads to kidnapping a temperamental child, and Xanxus quickly realizing that this might have been one of the best decisions that he had ever made._

* * *

><p>AN: I'm half asleep and none of what I'm writing makes sense. What is this? I don't even know.

_Warning! AU! EXTREME OOC-ness (on purpose)_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Varia Chronicles: Chapter 1**

**Once Upon a Time, Xanxus was nice.**

_+ When a lack of satisfaction with his life leads to kidnapping a temperamental child, and Xanxus quickly realizing that this might have been one of the best decisions that he had ever made._

* * *

><p>Tsuna was the living personification of the sky as he honestly did accept everything and everybody for what they were.<p>

It didn't matter what your reputation was as he always approached with an open mind and greeted with a simple, "It's a pleasure to meet you." Cause it was for him. He sincerely enjoyed meeting each and every person that walked into his life.

To him, acceptance didn't necessarily equate to agreement nor did it equate to like. It was simply the human thing to do- to accept whomever without judgment, for every human life mattered, and no one should be considered of less value.

His pure acceptance and easy compassion were traits that he had since his youngest years. You could even say that he was innately born with them.

However, despite his many amicable traits, even Tsuna had his own little dark side. Though, this side wasn't something he was born with. This was a side that was created due to several experiences in his toddler years that left him spiteful.

Tsuna was born into a family of high status. His father was the head of CEDEF which was directly under the Vongola- the strongest and most powerful mafia family.

Due to his heritage, since the day he had popped out of his mother's body, he had been treated nothing less than that of a prince, and he hated it with passion. He wasn't born into a life of power. He was born into a life he had no control of- a life without freedom. Sometimes, even hate seemed to pale when in comparison to how he felt about it.

Nonetheless, despite his spiteful side, Tsuna wasn't cruel. He never blamed his family for who he was. He never held it against them. Like a sky, he simply accepted the fact and moved on. However, once more, to Tsuna, acceptance did not equate to agreement. The minute opportunity arose, he was going to grasp on to it and never let go. His fate was something he was going to decide.

But, due take note, his position wasn't the only reason his spiteful side existed. There was another reason completely. I would even say that this was the main reason dark Tsuna formed. Tsuna would never admit that though. He had too much pride (as the reason was slightly trivial and even a bit petty).

According to his own words, Tsuna was born with 'cursed looks.' He inherited everything from his mother and barely anything from his father. His eyes were big, brown, and doe-like. His hair was fluffy and as soft as a feather. His body was slim with, not bulky, but toned muscles.

Much to his dismay, women (and some men) loved it. They cooed at him like he was some small animal and treated him like a priceless doll.

The attention was nice at first, but the moment he realized that no matter what he did, people would never take him seriously, he dreaded every moment afterwards.

Tsuna was age five when the dark side started forming.

It only took a matter of weeks since its beginning for him to finally snap.

It also just so happened to be his first meeting with Xanxus- Nono's fifteen year old son.

And, dear readers, this was the day that changed everything.

* * *

><p>Once upon a time, Xanxus was nice.<p>

No, I'm not kidding. The word trash in his vocabulary was the actual denotation; it was in no way used as an insult on anybody.

Xanxus was actually nice. You could even go as far as to say that he was angelic. He treated everybody equally, helped others, and he could easily proclaim with complete honestly that he has never once ridiculed or harmed a person needlessly in his life.

He was the perfect son, friend, and heir.

However, as we all know, perfection is a concept that ceases to exist- especially in Xanxus's case.

Xanxus admitted to being flawed in one area of his life, and that was his complete lack of emotion. It didn't matter what he did, what good he was praised for. He felt nothing for it. No satisfaction, no content, no happiness.

It was an empty feeling, and he didn't like it. He wanted to feel emotion. He wanted to laugh aloud. He wanted to smile sincerely.

Yet, he couldn't. Well, couldn't wasn't necessarily true. He could feel emotion- satisfaction, pleasure- but that was only when he was fighting. And, that slightly scared him 'cause he knew that wasn't normal. You aren't supposed to like fighting, harming, or destroying things. Yet, he did. He enjoyed all of it.

He felt the most alive when he was sent on C- Rank missions to take out lackey henchmen with his newly budding assassination squad. He somewhat thrived off the screams and the panicked looks. Quite frankly, he feared that side of himself. He knew that it really wasn't normal nor accepted, and he could only imagine his father's disappointment the day he finds out about it.

And, that was the last thing he wanted, and, so, he kept those feelings locked inside and continued his daily front of the perfect, kind child.

It was tearing him apart though.

One of these days, he knew his mask was going to crack, and he only hoped that everything would work out for the better.

Despite his hidden sadistic tendencies, he was not cruel. And, even with his lack of emotion, failure was something he knew he would feel, and that was something he most definitely did not want to experience.

* * *

><p>If only Xanxus knew that that day was coming way sooner than he thought.<p>

* * *

><p>The minute he closed the door to the dining room, his smile dropped.<p>

Xanxus couldn't help but pinch the bridge of his nose. If it didn't help his headache, then his next destination would be infirmary. He could only hope that the pain relievers would be more than enough to console the dull but growing throb.

He would need it. The day was going to be long for him.

Before exiting the dining room, just as he was finishing his breakfast, he had been informed that the head of CEDEF was coming by to visit with his whole family- which meant he had to entertain the guests- which included more forced emotion.

It also meant he had to meet the five-year old boy wonder that he had heard so much about. To summarize the talk that's been going around, the boy was practically everything he tried to be- only, the real deal, accepting, kind, and compassionate.

Xanxus hadn't even met him, yet, but he already knew that the kid was going to be a pain in the neck.

Maybe he could mysteriously disappear but, just in case, inform some random henchmen that he had urgent business back at Varia HQ. He didn't want to cause a scene, after all.

Just as the idea started sounding better and better, he reached the entrance of the infirmary and abruptly opened the door. There was no real need to knock; the doctor was never in.

Popping back a pain reliever and taking a swig of water, he concluded that the headache definitely wasn't worth it, and his father hadn't explicitly told him that he was needed here.

He could just leave without any repercussions. Decided on just that, he left the room and headed for his own straight away. Delaying his leave would only cut it close.

* * *

><p>Tsuna had done it.<p>

He had actually done it.

He had somehow managed to escape from the deadly claws of those insane women.

No, they weren't women; they were demons. Only a demon would giggle so happily while holding him down as he blatantly fought will all his strength to get away.

He was already five years old- practically a big boy, now.

He would not just sit there and let them dress him up like he was some doll.

No, nope, never.

And, that's why he was now wandering around the garden, hoping to find a place to hide.

All the while, he didn't even realize that he was muttering darkly to himself aloud or the slightly hostile aura seeping out of him. He was barely aware of his surroundings at that point. All he knew was that he was sick of the treatment he got, and nothing was going to stop him from finding salvation.

Somewhere in the back of Tsuna's mind, you could practically see the screws loosening and hear the strings snapping little by little.

"Hey, kid."

Dark thoughts. Dark thoughts. Dark thoughts.

"Kid."

Dark thoughts. Dark thoughts. Dark thou- child-sized maid dress. Shudders.

"...kid."

Dark thoughts. Dark thoughts. Dark thou- "Hiiiiie!"

Tsuna shrieked when he felt two hands slip under his arms and pull him up and off the ground.

In mild state of panic, he began to fling his arms and legs around in hopes of dislodging himself. He was about to scream when he was abruptly turned around, his eyes meeting that of a teenager's.

Tsuna could practically see the aggravation, disinterest, and slight resign in the other's eyes. Luckily, he didn't feeling guilty; Tsuna was used to getting that look from his caretaker for whenever he tried to escape, but that was just because he did it several times a week.

Tsuna was slightly curious as to why a person he had just met looked that way but quickly decided the best thing to do was keep his mouth shut. If there was one thing that he learned from his many escapades was, that when caught, the best thing to do was keep quiet and see what happens next. You never know when there will be an opening.

"Kid." The teenager drawled. His dark red eyes zeroed completely in on Tsuna's.

Tsuna couldn't help but squeak slightly in fear as he responded.

"Y-yes?"

Red eyes narrowed.

Tsuna gulped.

"Are you lost?"

_Eh?_

"Huh?" Sighing to himself, the teenager set him on the ground and then proceeded to kneel in front of him. Their eyes were now at the same level.

"I said. Are you lost?"

Tsuna gaped for a second before slowly shaking his head, just as he was doing that, an idea came to mind, and he couldn't help but grin.

"Nope. I'm looking for a hiding place."

The teenager raised an eyebrow, "Oh, are you playing a game or something?"

Tsuna's grin widened even more if possible.

"Nope, I'm escaping from the evil demon women." He announced, a slight tinge of pride in his voice, before continuing. "I've decided. You are going to be my hero." He declared, fisting his hands and placing them on his hips, all the while, puffing out his chest.

The red eyed male only raised another eyebrow before smirking slightly and patting Tsuna on the head as he stood up to his full height.

"Sorry, kid, I'm not a hero, and honestly, I'm not in the mood to hold a conversation. So, if you're not lost..." He turned and waved without looking," then...later. Have fun with whatever it is you're doing."

Tsuna's eyes widened.

_Oh no._ His only hope and last chance of true salvation was walking away. What did he do wrong? Every person he's asked to be his hero before always willingly agreed.

Thinking as quickly as his five year old mind possibly could, he practically tripped over his own feet as he hurried after his last chance at freedom.

"W-wait!" He exclaimed as he grabbed the hem of the teenager's shirt.

"I-if you don't want to be my hero, why don't you be the bad guy then and kidnap me!" Oh, wow, that sounded silly- even to Tsuna.

Yet, that somehow seemed to do the trick as the teenager froze.

* * *

><p>Xanxus knew that it was silly for him to seriously consider the child's own silly remark, but somehow, he couldn't help but contemplate it.<p>

When was the last time he did something mischievous? Or, rather, the better question was, has he ever?

And, there was only one answer to that question.

_No, he hasn't._

Xanxus was a teenager, and, in all right, (and, to his dismay) still a child.

When was the last time he just messed around without any thought?

_Never._

Despite, his usual lack of emotions, he actually felt sad about that answer.

It's been fifteen years, and he has practically no fond memories of his childhood.

Looking down at the kid still attached to his shirt and had slyly wrapped one arm around his leg; he couldn't help but think, _why not?_

What's the worst that could happen? _A slap on the wrist, an increase in homework, a verbal warning, a declaration of war on the off-chance that the kid was actually the precious son of an allied family…_

Bending down once more, he smirked.

"Sure. Why not? I'll be the bad guy."

He watched in wonder as the boy's deflated hair fluffed back up, and the kid's eyes begin to shine brightly.

"Thank you!" He exclaimed before pausing and a look of absolute confusion appeared on his face.

"Wait. You're the bad guy. I shouldn't be thanking you, right?" Xanxus surprised even himself when a slight chuckle escaped his throat.

Albeit small, he had just laughed… _laughed._

"Whatever suits you, kid. I really don't care." Xanxus stopped mid-thought.

"Hold on…what's your name?" He asked.

The boys practically radiated light as he backed up and bowed slightly.

"My name is Tsunayoshi Sawada!"

_Oh. Tsunayoshi Saw-_

_Wait._

_Rewind that._

"...Sawada? Your father wouldn't happen to be the head of CEDEF, would he?" He asked slowly.

Xanxus was now realizing that he might actually be getting himself into deeper trouble than he had originally planned.

Tsuna nodded happily, the ball of fluff on his head, swaying back and forth with the movement, before halting suddenly.

"Y-you aren't going to say you can no longer be the bad guy, are you?" A look of complete despair appeared on the child's face, and, at the crestfallen look, Xanxus couldn't help but silently muse to himself about the thought of just how many times the boy's plans have probably been foiled or people backing out on their word simply because of who his father was, and, in that moment, Xanxus felt another emotion.

It was slight but definitely there.

_Understanding._

After all, Xanxus also had a father in high authority. He knew just how restricting that fact alone was. Hell, he lived his day to day life practically suffocated because of that fact.

Scratching the back of his head, he kneeled once more.

"No... I was just curious. By the way, my name is Xanxus." He said ruffling the boy's hair in some type of half-hearted reassurance.

With the speed that the boy's mood switched from depressed to ecstatic, Xanxus absentmindedly wondered if the boy was temperamental or suffered from some type of mood disorder.

As quick as the thought came, it flew away when Xanxus was caught off guard by little arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him down for a hug.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Xanxus." And, for the nth time that day, he surprised himself when a small smile slipped on his face.

Gently he pulled the arms off, and he couldn't but smirk and say, "Oy, oy. I'm the bad guy. Are you sure you want to be hugging me?"

He was then rewarded with a small giggle.

* * *

><p>Tsuna held tightly onto Xanxus's hand as they walked down the path. He wasn't a hundred percent sure where they were going, but Xanxus did mutter something about HQ. So, he guessed it was probably Xanxus's secret base or something.<p>

Peeking up at the tall male beside him, curiosity spiked through his little body, and he tilted his head to the side. Despite his only five years of age, he did know not to talk to strangers, let along ask them to kidnap him, but he had a feeling in his gut that told him, _this was it. This was what you're waiting for. _And, his father always told him that he should listen to that little voice.

Plus, he felt he could trust the teenager. Something about him screamed comfort, protection, but another one would scream danger, danger. It was confusing, and he really didn't know what to do about the thought. Therefore, he took the best course of action his little mind could come up with.

"Hey, Xanxus..."

"Hm?"

"Do you want to play twenty questions?"

Xanxus's expression morphed into that of bemusement, but he nodded, nonetheless.

* * *

><p>A half hour passed, and they were about to arrive at Varia HQ. Usually, Xanxus would have arrived a lot sooner as he would have normally taken the car, but as this is an impromptu kidnapping...<p>

Peering down at the child, he watched as he rambled on about nonsense. It seemed like Tsuna had a story to go with every answer- even something as simple as, _what's your favorite color?_

_"My favorite? I guess orange. My mom always told me that the most beautiful color the sky can be is orange. I've never had the chance to see it. She told me it usually happens really early in the morning and right before it becomes night time, but I'm always sleeping during those times. It's really too bad. Hey, Xanxus, have you seen the sky when it's orange?"_

He nodded his head with no real conviction as Tsuna went on about a squirrel he once saw.

How'd he get there from his favorite food?

Shaking his head, he easily cut the kid off before he could continue on about caterpillars.

"We're about to arrive, so we only have time for one more question..."

Nodding, Tsuna placed his finger on his chin.

"Let's see..." He hummed.

"Ah!" He paused in his step, and, in accordance, caused Xanxus to stop as well.

"What does Xanxus like?"

"Like?"

"Yeah, like! What makes Xanxus happy?" In all honestly, Xanxus did expect a question like this to come up, eventually, and, now that it did, he found that he still didn't have an answer. Well, he did, but that wasn't really something you go around saying flippantly, especially to a kid no less.

_But... _

He stared down at the innocent expression on Tsuna's face, and, once more, he thought to himself, _why not?_ Tsuna was still a kid. The most he'd probably respond with would be something like how violence was never answer, or whatever mother's told their children nowadays.

_Why not?_

That same thought had repeated itself so often today, and, he was really starting to wonder. What did he have to lose? Why the hell should he cares what others thought of him? He was in the mafia, for god's sake, did it really matter all that much?

"Fighting." He finally answered. _Blood, panicked- cornered- helpless expressions,_ he added silently in his mind.

Tsuna's mouth shaped into an 'o' before he nodded to himself.

"I see. I don't really like fighting…" _He knew it. _"… but if it makes Xanxus happy, then it's okay... after all, you're you, and, although, I might not like it, you do. I'm five, but I've seen enough of people meanly judging others for who they are. I hate it. So, if fighting makes Xanxus happy. Then Tsuna is completely fine with that."

There was brief but definitely not uncomfortable silence that followed that statement, and Xanxus, in the end, decided not to reply.

Instead, he chose to silently bask in a feeling he hadn't felt in years, _acceptance_, and he almost wanted laugh at the fact that it came from the most unlikely of places.

_A five year old brat. _

He let a small smile slip onto his face and slightly grasped the child's hand tighter in gratitude.

_Thank you._

* * *

><p>Tsuna didn't know what to make of the situation.<p>

It all happened pretty fast, and, even though he's been told that his mind was a lot more mature than most kids his age, he still found it hard to comprehend all that had happened.

One minute Xanxus almost looked happy.

The next, he was picked up, a door kicked open, and him being held up in the air for all to see.

After that the minutes stretched by, and he really had no clue what to do.

So, he decided; the next best thing was to absentmindedly observe all the people in the room.

There was one guy who had black hair shaped in a Mohawk-like style. He was dressed completely in black; the only thing that stood out was the silver metal on the guy's knees and elbows. Tsuna scrunched up his nose when he noticed the man- _teenager?_- glaring at him. _What'd he do?_

Moving on, he looked to the left of the glaring teenager and noticed another man glaring at him, only with a frown on his face. _Seriously, what'd he do wrong? He's just hanging here. _The man had his arms crossed on his chest, and the frown on his face seemed to only grow.

Shrugging, Tsuna gazed at the next person. A teenager- _only a few years older than him?_- with bangs covering his eyes, he had a pleasant smile on his face, and Tsuna found himself slightly thankful for that fact.

His eyes roamed across the room, taking in the area- _couches, table, magazines, TV, a lobby?_- before settling on another person standing discreetly in the corner. Their face held no real emotion, safely hidden by the cloak that covered their body, and Tsuna started to wonder whether it was a boy or girl.

After a whole 'nother minute passed, Tsuna found himself getting a little cranky. He liked being picked up, but not like this, and he definitely didn't like how everybody was just staring at him. Just as he was about to speak, another teenager suddenly appeared in front of him, making him jump in shock. He stared wide-eyed at the spiky haired teenager. He reeled back a little when a particularly hostile glare was pointed at him.

"Boss? Who is this?" The spiky-haired one was the first to break the silence.

Feeling himself being lowered, Tsuna couldn't help sigh in relief.

_Finally. _

Once his feet hit the ground, he quickly scrambled behind Xanxus, attaching himself to the other's leg.

He watched as the people in the room all loomed closer, each joining in on the discussion.

"Xanxus, why do you have a kid, here?" The white hair man practically growled.

"I'm wondering the same thing." The mohawk one muttered darkly.

"Am I being paid for this?" The cloak person deadpanned.

"Ara? What a cute child. Is he our new mission? Protection, perhaps?" The one with long bangs asked.

"Nope." Xanxus began, placing his hand on Tsuna's head.

"I kidnapped him."

* * *

><p>Xanxus almost wanted to laugh aloud at the looks of pure shock on each of the Varia member's faces.<p>

He settled for a smirk instead.

"You... kidnapped him?" Squalo repeated in obvious disbelief. Xanxus actually felt a little proud of the fact that he managed to make the usual prim look on Squalo's face turn to this.

"Yes."

"Wow... I didn't know you had it in you, Boss. Bel is pleasantly surprised." As usual Bel took the news in stride.

"Am I being paid extra?" He snorted at Viper's question.

"Nope."

"Then, I will be taking my leave for the day." He watched at the cloaked Viper left the room.

Sighing to himself, he returned his gaze back to the remaining individuals, taking in once more all of their reactions.

Squalo, now back to prim, as always looked like he had a stick up his ass.

Levi appeared to be in a state of shock, but he knew that wouldn't last much longer. The teen was like a loyal puppy- aggravating but never questioning.

Lussuria had his usual cold glare on, but, oddly, Xanxus noticed, he had his guard up. Did he think the brat would suddenly attack or something?

Bel had his usual all- is- well- in- the- world smile on. Xanxus couldn't help but wonder what Bel would be like if he didn't always keep his emotions so tightly in control.

"Anyway, the kid and I are staying here for a few days. I don't plan on returning to the mansion anytime soon, especially since the brat's father is probably going to start wreaking havoc." He drawled, calmly taking and appreciating the slight twitches of irritation and utter disagreement on certain member's faces.

Feeling a tug on his pants leg, Xanxus looked down at Tsuna and raised an eyebrow in question.

"A few days?" The boy meekly asked.

Smirking, he responded.

"I'm playing the bad guy, remember?"

He watched at the boy lowered his head and looked at the ground. A second passed before Tsuna nodded.

"Okay, a few days then."

* * *

><p>At this point, Xanxus had come to a decision.<p>

He wasn't going to hide anymore.

If none of the Varia members, his father, or even that brat accepted him for whom he was, then they could all piss off for all he cared.

He's sick of playing the obedient character.

He's fucking Xanxus, and he's no longer taking anybody's shit.

If somebody wants to tell him otherwise, then he will personally take pleasure in showing them just how serious he was.

He plans on making this little kidnapping game his first act of defiance. The kid gave him an opportunity to finally change his life to what he sees fit, and he's going to grasp this opportunity tightly.

* * *

><p>What Xanxus didn't realize at that time but found out later was that the kid didn't just give him an opportunity for change, he also gave him an opportunity for acceptance. And, it didn't just apply to him, but every other Varia member as well.<p>

Xanxus then realized that kidnapping Tsuna... it turned out to be one of the best decisions of his life.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter: The Varia Chronicles Continue<strong>

_Lussuria had never felt so comfortable in his own skin before._

_+ When suppressed feelings, impulses, and carefully crafted masks crumble in the face of cuteness._

* * *

><p>AN: Uh, yeah… how was it? I wrote three-fourths of this straight after writing the prologue, so most of this was written in a half-conscious state, as well. So, um, not all of the chapters will be this long. There was a lot at the beginning to get the story started, so that really increased the length. By the way, this is not the end of the Xanxus chapter. You will soon notice, that despite me ending the chapter that focuses on a particular character, I will continue to show the character progression in other chapters as well. You will see Xanxus, and you will see him struggling to accept himself and dealing with the lack of acceptance from others. By the end of the Varia Chronicles, however, every member will be back to their Canon selves. I hoped you enjoyed this. Thank you for reading.

Warnings! AU, OOC-ness (on purpose), and cursing

_Author's ramble: Personally, I don't believe that perfection does not exist. I feel like it's a just a concept that's purely subjective and depends solely on the person. I- for one- have a simple definition of perfection. Perfection is synonymous with flawless. Flaws are generally the aspects you find defective, or anything that you are unwilling to accept. However, if you were to take a person, and you accept them for who they are, bad and good side alike, then that would mean that they, in your eyes have no flaws. Therefore, that makes them perfect- to you. Acceptance is just another form of perfection. By the way, I used my own little opinion in the story. I believe in accepting things for how they are, what they are, and who they are. However, I do not equate acceptance to agreement. Just like how you can dislike something and not mistreat it. I feel like the first step in any situation is to accept what's already there and take the necessary steps afterward. After all, denial will get you nowhere. Ah, well, I've rambled enough. Have a nice day, night, morning! Thanks you reading. Oh, and if it's your birthday, Happy Birthday. If it's a friend or family's birthday, then wish them a happy birthday for me. Haha. xD_


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